i'm just a kid trying to make something beautiful, from this opression..

I'm sitting alone in the study, in the dark..
Trying to drown out the sound of my family at each others throats, by playing music. Really loud.
And it strikes me that this is my life.

I've never been able to escape it. I always end up in a dark corner hands over my ears screaming “lalala I CANT HEAR YOU”
and pretending I'm still sane. Still alright. Still alive.
But i'm not..
I'm choking. Quietly, so as not to disturb anyone else.
It's been my fault for so long I've forgotten what it's like to be blameless.

And once again a car door slams and another person drives out of my life.

Happy birthday..

change change change

last summer
i broke
sunsets

across your horizon.
i stopped
to see
my face

in tidal pools,
tore lines
from books
and made this my own:

(you are not invisible);
i learned.