moments in time - i wrap myself in words

On Granite Beach, the early sun in its empty sky flies over our white winter skin.
Sea-salt is at home in our hair and on our tongues and the opaque blue of oxygen is sweet in our lungs: the rocks are hot on our worn feet.
Perched high above, she lends me a helping hand and I take it, and we sit side-by-side with the cliff soaring at our backs and the waves tumbling below our toes. We speak of deepwater things in open tones: fingers curl, knees knock and our eyes meet and sparkle to tell silent secret jokes.
Watching her smile and feeling like I’ll never fall (for it’s so high up here and I’m so afraid of heights: but her arms are strong and quick and she’s watching out for me) I conclude for the thousandth time that she is my best friend,
For always.
........
-
There’s a frost stiffening the grass outside while the cold moon watches on indifferently, but with you curled against me I am warm. You smell to me like coconut; you breathe quietly and those long lashes brush your sleeping cheek. I realise how much I’ve missed you.
........
When I reach to touch your lips you open your eyes (a gentle colour I cannot name) and your fingers curl around my toes. You let me kiss you as your eyes fall closed and your kiss drowsily, clumsily, back. You bury your tired face in my belly and I let you doze as the icy stars wink outside and dawn creeps slowly closer.
Knowing that I will not sleep, you entwine those strong arms around me for comfort.
But all that shimmers in this world is sure to fade..
........
-
Instead of simply passing (for I’m always in a rush to be somewhere I’m not) I stop to stand beside her. In the way I always used to, I rest my face against her shoulder.
I miss you.
The moment is acknowledged with a kind of indifference and we move on and apart.
........
-

In the tiny coves and miniature islands, in the edge of the water, moonlight catches in pools of silver. The water glows with full moons light as a slight breeze sends celestial waves of glitter across the surface. Three hearts in a moment, three voices drift across water as one. And our song plays on and on.

In tender words of deepest care we cast off chains rusted over our souls.
And for one night. The stars lend an ear to our heartfelt whispers.
-
I’ve waited too long for you.
We’ve sat in silent solitude for days, for weeks, for months.
There was a short time, a jumbled collection of fleeting moments (all in shy touches and eyes held too long) that you saw me for more than I am. A short time when you may have needed me as I need you.
But I have spent so long trying to fade into the background that I’ve forgotten how to be seen. Your interests move to other things other people and I am left hanging on.
Inside I am sore; outside I am angry; old habits arise and regret ensues.
But now I’m tired of your nonchalance, for I know deep down that I am more deserving.
Watch me turn my back on you and my gaze flicker to newer horizons.
I’ll not let myself break for you.

Rain falls outside.. I think the sky must know what's happening tonight

It's bitter cold outside
But the sun still shines 'cause we can feel it
Benjamin, you mark the life that was left behind
We see him in your eyes

Yes I'm quiet. No, I haven't spoken much. Yes there is a reason. I'm sorry I don't always know it. Sometimes I just get sad, sometimes I just get quiet, sometimes I just feel lonely. Understandable? I think so. Maybe you don't.
You think it means I don't trust you with the reason. What reason? Why should it mean that? Is there a reason I shouldn't trust you now. It feels like it. You haven't been honest. I think you know.
I cannot be your reason, I will not be your easy way out. Step up. Grow up. This isn't a game. I've stepped in because you have not even noticed the results of your actions.
You think this is me jealous? Baby I don't care. I've never cared. I expected nothing. I was just so damn happy to get my friend back. & yet that doesn't appear to want to last long anyway. Why the suspicious? Why the angry? Why the bitter? You don't understand. You ask me “who's fault is that?” well ask yourself that same Q. cos I'm not giving you ALL the answers.
You know me. You should be able to work this one out. If you can't.. then i'm just not sure where that leaves us sunshine.-

And we will be friends for a long, long time
So until you can talk, just cry
And know that we will be friends for the rest of our lives

Benjamin- Sanctus Real