who am i to say?

& so here we go again.
Every once in a while. You and I, we restart our cycle.
This time its only me.

I sit alone on the rooftops, without you. Only the stars and the one street lamp for company. And the heaviness you left behind you in the air.. its fragile, this peace I keep seeking. The whole empty space stretched above me, no longer filled with your heartbeats and our laughter..
fragile..
so easily broken.
I feel a bit like that sometimes. Like tonight, I whisper as if a loud noise will shatter this.. us.

.. turning to my side and not finding you there.. and I never feel so alone.
Its funny how one night can change the world.. we walked streets I didn't know, not my pambula beach.. nor your long empty middle of nowhere..
and I was scared.. because even surrounded by them.. I was alone..

when the only warmth is our misty breath and rubbed palms. When we put our arms around us and each other and sing away the numbness, when the stars and the full moon light the gravel road and the neighbours dogs start to bark. You'll find me there.
When the dizziness is elation instead of alcohol, and the whispers are joy not pain, there, you'll find me.

& when the place of return is not the place of regret, when the music is ours and the night is ours and the stars are welcoming not lonely. When the cold bite and wet grass, when the stumbles and bare feet are familiar again.. ill find you.

Seven days, one week.. 14 th june..
I spin you pretty words and the world looks on.. and judges me.
I hope you remember me like I remember you..