how long will you be gone for,,

........
There's distance in the air, static between me and the world & that bird? Well I'm sorry but it's dead.

Dawn still brings frost like your eyes, the air's still bitter and cold with bite as strong as any of your words.. and summer seems so very reluctant to break this rudely lingering winter..
There was strong winds last night. Slanted rain wrought with tumbling leaves. And when I woke the dandelions had lost their heads.. one again I was one of them,, just a thin stem with all my hopes and dreams fuzzed around me, ready to blow away at someone's careless mercy.

My minds playing tricks on me, no that wasn't a sliding door, there's no car in my driveway and the lullaby in the back of my thoughts, is most definitely not your voice in my kitchen. Why am I on edge?
i am breathing for the urge to tell you something beautiful
but i, the ever-scared lion,
shudder in my sheets..

sunday. Oh god I what I would do for a neverending week of sundays.
Of hope and passion and heartfelt worship. Of renewal. Revival and revolutions.
Of breif reprise before sailing back into six days for them.
I shouldn't complain, I adore my life, I wake up with dreams of flying.
I soar into my days with beautiful people and moments. With small hours in the evening to be silent with you.
But these days I'm biting my cheeks to keep from talking, my teeth are on edge and my hands are shaking.
I feel the need to escape more and more often and find myself resenting when she tears me back to the here and now, searching for reasurance. No nothings wrong. Nothing I could speak or express.
Nothing I could put a name to.
But deep dark and secret.. something is very very wrong.
And I go to sleep everynight knowing full well I am yet to sprout a set of wings..

I'm dehydrated with water in my lungs.
The moon is waxing and waning, with no sign of an end..
to these bitter cold and empty nights..