imsorry. im just hurt cos .yourneverthere.

Sunshine you have thunder in your eyes and

lighting in your veins.



Your words taste like blood in the back of my throat, bitter metallic and laced with venom. Your fingers are turning pages with pictures fading to grey. And my world is falling intertwined within them. I'm looking through kaleidoscopes trying to see colours. And your laughing because I'm doing it all so wrong.



I'm two steps forward, one shot back. And a night of regret because I want to feel alive again. Your hair is as long as the weeks I have been sick. I haven't told you yet. Your eyes will sparkle and you'll take it with a joke, and tell me I'm not sick enough. For you.



The machines that helped me breath, rattle like an everlasting cold in my bones. Standing hurt like wildfire, I set my teeth and fought. For him. For you. Powdered tears because I dried mine all up, and he calls me amazing. I'm no hero, I did what I had to..



Take my heartstrings, braid them through my vertebrae, stab me in the back. Your fingertips will trace my spine, moving in-out of the broken bones, playing hopscotch between slumped shoulders.

Coward, because I avoid your innocent eyes, naivety is no excuse..



Darling there's bile in my mind and

static in my veins.



I found myself on his shoulder crying, I'm not as ugly as she treats me, I'm not as ugly..


And doubting every word..